Hard Decisions - Chapter 2

My, oh my, where do I start? I actually don’t know where to start….I’m not even sure what is important anymore.

1.  I miss my father and his wisdom. I wish he were here to tell me what to do. LAUGH  So for you young ones out there who hate it when your parents tell you what to do…there will come a day when you will miss their advice and wish you had it again.

March 2nd was his birthday. The first since his death in October.  I wore his gold crucifix all day and every time I noticed it against my skin, I said a little prayer.  Strangely, I found myself praying for his widow, Sandra, more than Dad.

2. I found out my boss hired a temp. Right now, I’m working randomly. Training my replacement. He, yes, HE, seems to be working out just fine actually. Noooo….I’m not sexist. Nope. Not me. Not one little bit. I completely believe that men and women are fully capable of doing the same jobs. I just don’t think they can do my job as well as I can. LAUGH  No I DID NOT just say that!!!!  Anyway, the guy is smart. Computer savvy. Good sense of humor. Easy going. Just what my boss needs. Therefore, I approve. Not like I was asked.

So after I got over the shock, I pulled myself together and came up with a contingency plan. I had a “Plan A” but how often do things work off of Plan A? Never, right?  Plan A consisted of me working for at least another 3 years.  Well, Plan B quickly emerged and three years turned into 1 month. Talk about fast tracking.

3. I had an appointment with Dr. Asshole last week, I went to him with terror in my heart. I was scared to talk to him about disability. I wasn’t raised to get assistance. I don’t think there is anything wrong with it. Not at all. I just don’t see how me and disability fit in the same sentence. Dr. A didn’t seem surprised though. As a matter of fact, he said he was shocked that I still had a job. He actually knew this was going to happen.  It would have been super awesome though if he had told me so I wouldn’t have been so caught off guard.

He also told me it would very difficult to get disability.  Great!!  Just what I wanted to hear.

Also, apparently my levels went up because he wants to see me back in 3 weeks and do a 24hr urinalysis.  I signed the paperwork to switch to Cellcept. And he ordered another blood lab to determine if I have pancreatitis.

Pancreatitis.  Let’s just say that in three weeks, I’ve lost 20 lbs.

4.  The same day I saw the Neph, I also went to see a disability lawyer. Everyone says it’s next to impossible to get disability, even the doctors say this, so I hired an attorney.

5.  I’ve been waiting for almost two weeks now for the HR department to send me the FMLA paperwork so I can take it to my doctors for completion.  My goal is to get my FMLA extended, go out on Short Term Disability for 3-6 months until I can get SSD.  Well, I finally had to go down to HR and pick up the paperwork myself. I dropped everything off at Dr. Asshole’s office today.

I’m in a waiting game now.  For my last day at work. For disability. For Cellcept. For my life to either begin, end, or change. I’m about to enter into a new Chapter of life. One that terrifies me with its uncertainty. Somehow I think that is exactly what God has planned for me. Sneaking suspicion.